We live in a world woven with threads of control. While blatant dictatorships grab headlines, the insidious nature of control dramas plays out subtly, yet pervasively, in nearly every facet of human interaction. From the seemingly innocuous to the overtly manipulative, the desire to exert power over others – to bend them to our will – is a deeply ingrained human tendency. This isn’t necessarily always malicious; it’s sometimes a subconscious mechanism driven by insecurity, fear, and a desperate need for validation.
Consider the diverse landscape where control dramas unfold:
Dogmatic Religion: Rigid adherence to doctrines, fear-based appeals, and the suppression of dissenting opinions all serve to maintain control over believers’ thoughts and actions.
Politics: The manipulation of public opinion, the spread of misinformation, and the use of power to silence opposition are all classic examples of control in the political arena.
Social Groups: Conformity pressures, social ostracism for non-compliance, and the enforcement of unwritten rules all contribute to a climate of control within social structures.
Families: Parental control over children, sibling rivalry fuelled by attempts to dominate, and manipulative tactics used to gain advantage within family dynamics are common occurrences.
Relationships: Emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and the use of affection as a tool to control are all too prevalent in romantic partnerships and friendships.
Business: Authoritarian management styles, workplace bullying, and the exploitation of employees are all manifestations of control dramas at play in the professional world.
The methods employed are as varied as the contexts themselves. These tactics often include:
Manipulation: Subtle psychological tactics aimed at influencing another’s decisions without their conscious awareness.
Aggression: Overt displays of dominance, intimidation, and threats to force compliance.
Moodiness: Using emotional volatility to control another person’s behaviour, creating a climate of unpredictability and anxiety.
Feigned or Real Affection: Using love, kindness, or empathy as a tool to manipulate and control; the withdrawal of affection becomes a punishment for disobedience.
The core issue underlying all of these control dramas is the pursuit of power. The controller seeks to exert influence, not for the benefit of others, but to satisfy their own needs for security, validation, or a sense of superiority. This inherently creates an imbalance of power, fostering resentment, anxiety, and ultimately, damaged relationships.
The Spiritual Unwisdom of Control:
From a spiritual perspective, control dramas are profoundly unwise and unhelpful. True spiritual growth thrives on freedom, acceptance, and authenticity. The attempt to control others represents a fundamental disconnect from universal principles of love, compassion, and interconnectedness.
When we try to control others, we:
Limit their growth: We prevent them from learning, experimenting, and making their own choices, stunting their personal development.
Suppress their authenticity: We force them to conform to our expectations, hindering their ability to express their true selves.
Create resentment and conflict: Our attempts to control others inevitably lead to resistance and conflict, damaging relationships and creating suffering.
Obstruct our own spiritual evolution: The energy spent on controlling others diverts attention and energy from our own inner work and growth.
A spiritually mature individual understands that we cannot control others, only our own responses and actions. Embracing non-attachment and focussing on self-improvement frees us from the need to dominate and manipulate, allowing for more genuine, loving, and fulfilling relationships. By surrendering the need to control, we open ourselves to a deeper understanding of ourselves and the interconnectedness of all beings, ushering in a more peaceful and harmonious existence.
The path to spiritual growth lies not in controlling others, but in mastering ourselves.
Worldwide Temple of Aurora 