The Profound Power of ‘Pretending’

A Psychotherapy Training Revelation

In the intricate world of psychotherapy, where individuals seek to navigate the complexities of their inner landscapes, tools that unlock new perspectives are invaluable. One such approach involves tapping into what’s known as a ‘meta’ perspective – meta, from the Greek, meaning ‘beyond’ or ‘ transcending’ (and, importantly, not to be confused with a certain social media giant). This framework encourages clients to step outside their immediate emotional or cognitive confines to gain broader, more objective insights.

During a psychotherapy training course I was leading, I demonstrated a particular method for accessing these ‘meta’ perspectives. The exercise involved physically moving through space to embody different viewpoints: stepping forward to connect with a ‘future self,’ moving backward to consult a ‘past self,’ and shifting sideways to gain wisdom from ‘helpful individuals.’ These individuals could be anyone from spiritual figures, historical icons, or even friends, family, and colleagues – anyone perceived as offering valuable guidance. The goal was to ask what insights these perceived entities might offer, understanding that the responses would emerge from the client’s own internal wisdom and imagination.

A student named Leonard volunteered for the demonstration. As we began, I guided him through the steps, prompting him to sense the insights offered by his ‘future self,’ then his ‘past self,’ and finally, various supportive figures. To my surprise, and in a way I had never encountered in previous sessions, Leonard kept looking utterly blank. He would simply shrug and state, “Nothing!”

This went on for several prompts. His genuine bewilderment was palpable. I pondered what might be happening. Leonard had occasionally mentioned his adherence to a belief system known as ‘New Thought’ during our training. Suddenly, it dawned on me: he wasn’t accessing his imagination; he was literally expecting to hear external, audible voices from these ‘individuals.’ His belief system, while rich in its own right, was creating a very specific expectation that was hindering his engagement with the exercise’s intended mechanism.

Once this understanding clicked, I knew I needed to reframe the exercise in a way that resonated with him, gently and without diminishing his beliefs. “Leonard,” I said, tactfully, “It’s like pretending.”

The transformation was instantaneous and remarkable. His eyes lit up, and a wide grin spread across his face. “Pretending!” he exclaimed with a newfound energy. “I can do that!”

From that moment on, Leonard immersed himself fully. He stepped into the roles with a deliberate earnestness, and when I asked him for insights, he spoke freely and thoughtfully about what his ‘future self’ might advise, or what a historical figure might offer to his present dilemma. He gained a tremendous amount from the exercise, unlocking insights that had been inaccessible just moments before.

Leonard’s breakthrough highlights a powerful, yet often overlooked, aspect of human potential and therapeutic intervention: the profound power of imagination and the permission to ‘pretend.’

Why ‘Pretending’ is a Profound Psychological Tool:

Bypasses Limiting Beliefs: As seen with Leonard, deeply held beliefs, while valuable in many contexts, can sometimes create mental blocks when engaging with exercises that require a metaphorical or imaginative leap. Labelling it as “pretending” immediately removed the pressure of literal manifestation, allowing him to engage freely.

Accesses the Subconscious: Our subconscious mind is a vast reservoir of knowledge, intuition, and creative solutions. When we ‘pretend’ to be someone else, or to embody a different version of ourselves, we are essentially giving our subconscious permission to communicate with us in a symbolic language it understands.

Reduces Performance Anxiety: For many, the idea of “sensing” or “receiving” insights can feel daunting, leading to a fear of “doing it wrong.” The playful nature of “pretending” lowers the stakes, making the process feel less like a test and more like an exploration.

Legitimises Inner Dialogue: In our rational-dominant world, we often dismiss our inner voices or intuitive nudges. Framing it as “pretending” legitimises these internal dialogues, allowing us to actively engage with and learn from them without feeling unscientific or illogical.

Connects to Play and Creativity: Children naturally use “pretend play” to process emotions, understand the world, and develop problem-solving skills. As adults, re-engaging with this innate capacity for imaginative play can unlock creativity and resilience that might otherwise remain dormant.

Leonard’s experience was a vivid reminder that sometimes, the most complex psychological barriers can be dissolved by the simplest, most human of concepts. The ability to ‘pretend’ is not just for children or actors; it is a fundamental human capacity that, when harnessed intentionally, can be a powerful gateway to self-discovery, problem-solving, and profound personal growth. It reminds us that our deepest wisdom often doesn’t speak in external voices, but rather through the rich, imaginative tapestry of our own minds.