The other day, I found myself settled in to watch a film set in India, sharing the experience with my wife, Asha. While the narrative unfolded with its own unique blend of culture, drama, and a touch of romance, a particular line spoken by one of the characters unexpectedly paused the flow of my thoughts.
It wasn’t a grand pronouncement or the climax of a major plot point, but a simple maxim offered almost conversationally: “Let go of what you want, let go of what you don’t want.”
Simple words, yet they struck me with surprising depth. It’s the kind of phrase that seems almost paradoxical at first glance. Isn’t life often about pursuing what we want and avoiding what we don’t? Our goals, our ambitions, our very survival instincts seem to revolve around these two poles.
But upon reflection, the profound insight within that simple sentence began to unfurl.
“Let go of what you want” speaks to the nature of attachment. We often tie our happiness, our peace of mind, and our identity to the successful acquisition of things, experiences, or outcomes we desire. While healthy ambition and setting goals are vital parts of a fulfilling life, clinging too tightly to the outcome can be a source of immense suffering. When we are overly attached, the fear of not getting what we want, or the disappointment when things don’t go as planned, can overwhelm us. This part of the maxim suggests a release from the tight grip of desire, allowing us to engage with life’s pursuits with less anxiety and more presence. It’s about finding a measure of contentment independent of external attainment.
“Let go of what you don’t want” addresses the other side of the coin: aversion. This is our resistance to pain, discomfort, fear, uncertainty, or situations we find unpleasant. We spend enormous energy pushing away undesirable feelings, memories, or circumstances. Yet, often, the very act of resisting them amplifies their power over us. This part of the maxim encourages a form of acceptance – not necessarily resignation or liking the situation, but releasing the struggle against reality as it is. By letting go of our fervent rejection of the unwanted, we free up mental and emotional energy that can be used for navigating the situation more effectively, or simply finding peace within it.
Together, these two directives point towards a state of equanimity – a balance where our inner peace is less dependent on the external world conforming to our preferences (wanting) or our fears (not wanting). It suggests that much of our suffering comes not from the circumstances themselves, but from our reaction to them – our desperate clinging to the pleasant and our fierce resistance to the unpleasant.
Sitting there after the line was spoken, the simplicity of it was striking. It wasn’t wrapped in complex philosophical jargon, yet it encapsulated profound wisdom common in many contemplative traditions, particularly those originating in the East. It was a reminder that true freedom often lies not in controlling our external world or even our internal reactions, but in releasing our attachment to that control.
That single line, delivered so casually by a character in a film, shared over an evening with Asha, became a quiet contemplation. “Let go of what you want, let go of what you don’t want.” A valuable, unexpected lesson in navigating the constant push and pull of life, offering a path towards a little more peace and a deeper sense of being present.
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