Enablers As ‘Flying Monkeys’

Enablers as ‘Flying Monkeys’: The Destructive Role They Play

When we think of enablers, we often picture someone who supports and encourages another person’s harmful behaviour. But what if I told you that enablers can also be compared to ‘flying monkeys’?

For those who are unfamiliar, ‘flying monkeys’ is a term often used in psychology to describe individuals who are used as pawns by a narcissistic or manipulative person to carry out their bidding (just as flying monkeys were sent by the Wicked Witch to attack Dorothy, in the Wizard of Oz). These individuals are often loyal to the manipulator and will do anything to please them, even if it means hurting others.

Similarly, enablers can also be seen as pawns in someone else’s game. They are the ones who turn a blind eye to the destructive behaviour of their loved ones and support them regardless of the consequences. But how do enablers play the role of ‘flying monkeys’ and what impact does it have on those around them?

Enablers are often family members, friends, or partners of the manipulator, and they are usually blinded by their loyalty and love for the person. They believe that by supporting and protecting the manipulator, they are doing the right thing. However, in reality, they are only perpetuating the cycle of toxic behaviour.

Just like ‘flying monkeys’, enablers are often used by the manipulator to carry out their manipulative tactics. They may be asked to lie, cover up, or make excuses for the manipulator’s actions. This can lead to a sense of guilt and shame for the enabler, as they know deep down that what they’re doing is wrong. But their loyalty to the manipulator blinds them from seeing the harm they’re causing.

Enablers also play a crucial role in maintaining the manipulator’s power and control over their victims. By constantly supporting and defending the manipulator, they make it easier for them to continue their destructive behaviour. This can be especially harmful in cases of domestic abuse, where the enabler’s support may allow the abuser to continue their abuse without any consequences.

In some cases, enablers may also actively participate in the manipulator’s harmful behaviour. They may join in on the belittling, gaslighting, or other forms of emotional manipulation, which can be extremely damaging for the victim. This behaviour further reinforces the manipulator’s power and control over their victims.

Moreover, enablers also enable the manipulator to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. By constantly defending and making excuses for the manipulator, they allow them to continue their toxic behavior without facing any consequences. This not only harms the victims but also prevents the manipulator from seeking help or changing their ways.

Enablers often justify their actions by claiming that they are only trying to help or protect their loved ones. But in reality, their actions are only causing more harm and enabling the manipulator to continue their destructive behaviour. They may also be in denial about the manipulator’s behaviour, which can make it difficult for them to see the truth.

Enablers can indeed be compared to ‘flying monkeys’ as they play a similar role in supporting and enabling manipulative behaviour. Their actions may be driven by love and loyalty, but they ultimately contribute to the perpetuation of toxic relationships. It is essential for enablers to recognise the destructive role they play and seek help in breaking the cycle of enabling. Only then can they truly support their loved ones in a healthy and positive way.