The Erosion of Courtesy

Are We Becoming a Ruder Society?

We’ve all felt it, that sharp sting of a thoughtless comment, the frustration of being ignored, or the unease of witnessing a conflict escalate unnecessarily. It seems, anecdotally, that we’re living in an age where the traditional pillars of courtesy, politeness, and good manners are crumbling. While the world has never been devoid of unpleasant individuals, there’s a growing sense that rudeness, incivility, and even outright hostility are on the rise, leaving many to wonder: what’s going wrong?

One cannot discuss this phenomenon without acknowledging the impact of the Internet, and specifically, social media. The ability to connect with a global audience instantly is a marvel, but it’s also created a fertile ground for negativity. The anonymity afforded by online platforms, combined with the ease of rapid-fire communication, has emboldened many to unleash vitriol and engage in personal attacks they might never consider in face-to-face interactions. These online “echo chambers,” where users are primarily exposed to perspectives that align with their own, can further exacerbate the problem, reinforcing prejudices and making it easier to dehumanise those with differing viewpoints.

It’s a disheartening reality to scroll through comment sections or newsfeeds and witness the casual cruelty that has become so commonplace. What’s even more concerning is the tendency for individuals who engage in this behaviour to consider themselves “good people.” This isn’t a new phenomenon; history is replete with examples of individuals, often those in positions of power, who justified horrific actions while maintaining a belief in their own moral righteousness. As the warden of Sing Sing prison famously noted, even hardened criminals rarely admit their guilt. It seems that human nature has a remarkable capacity for self-justification, engaging in mental gymnastics to downplay or ignore our own shortcomings while simultaneously judging others harshly.

So, the question arises: how do we address this creeping erosion of common courtesy and decency? There’s no single, simple solution, but a multi-pronged approach is essential:

• Critical Self-Reflection: We need to cultivate a greater awareness of our own behaviour, both online and off. Are we contributing to the negativity? Are we quick to judge others without understanding their perspectives? Practicing empathy and actively challenging our own biases is a crucial first step.
• Promoting Digital Literacy: Education is vital to help individuals understand the impact of their online actions. We need to foster a culture of responsible online engagement, emphasising the importance of respectful discourse and the real-world consequences of online harassment and bullying.
• Leading by Example: We need to model the behaviour we wish to see in the world. This means being more patient, more understanding, and more willing to engage in civil conversations, even when we disagree. It means holding ourselves to higher ethical standards, and calling out rudeness when we witness it.
• Focussing on Community: Building strong, local communities can help counteract the isolating effects of the internet. Connecting with others face-to-face, engaging in shared activities, and fostering a sense of belonging can help remind us of our common humanity.

The path back to a more courteous and respectful society is a difficult one, but it’s not impossible. It requires a collective effort, a willingness to examine our own behaviour, and a commitment to treating others with the dignity and respect they deserve. The erosion of courtesy isn’t just a minor inconvenience; it’s a symptom of a deeper societal malaise. By fostering empathy, promoting digital literacy, and leading by example, we can begin to reverse this trend and cultivate a future where kindness and respect prevail.