‘Women Like to be Desired, Men Like to be Admired’

Understanding the Phrase: ‘Women Like to be Desired, Men Like to be Admired’

An exploration of the nuances of desire and admiration in gender dynamics.

The saying, ‘women like to be desired, men like to be admired,’ is an insightful generalisation that seeks to capture common gender differences in the way men and women experience attraction and appreciation. While it is important to recognise that individuals are unique and may not fit neatly into these categories, the saying does offer some useful insights into the different ways that men and women may approach relationships and social interactions.

To begin with, the idea that women like to be desired suggests that women often place a high value on being wanted and pursued (think about the billions spent every year by women on beauty products). This may be due to the influence of nature, or because women have been socialised to see their worth as tied up in their ability to attract a partner, or because they have a deep-seated desire to be cherished and loved. Whatever the reason, women often enjoy feeling desired and may respond positively to romantic gestures, compliments, and other forms of attention from potential partners.

Desire encompasses more than just sexual attraction; it can also mean valuing a partner’s presence, engaging with their thoughts and emotions, and making them feel special and loved. It’s about feeling significant and irreplaceable to one’s partner, which contributes to a sense of emotional security and fulfilment.

On the other hand, the notion that men like to be admired suggests that men often place a high value on being respected and admired by others (recall the term, ‘Mr Success’). This may also be due to the influence of nature, or because men have been socialised to see their worth as tied up in their achievements and accomplishments, or because they have a deep-seated desire to be seen as capable and competent. Whatever the reason, men often enjoy feeling admired and may respond positively to recognition, praise, and other forms of appreciation from colleagues, peers, and loved ones.

Admiration often involves recognising and acknowledging a person’s skills, achievements, and qualities. This doesn’t mean that men don’t want to be desired; rather, it highlights the importance they may place on being recognised for their positive traits and successes.

Of course, it is important to note that these are generalisations, and that there is considerable variation within each gender. People, regardless of gender, have unique emotional needs and ways of experiencing desire and admiration. Moreover, these needs can change over time, influenced by life stage, personal growth, and relationship dynamics.

Nevertheless, the saying, ‘women like to be desired, men like to be admired,’ does offer some useful insights into the different ways that men and women may approach relationships and social interactions. By recognising these differences, we can better understand the needs and desires of our partners, colleagues, and friends, and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships with them.

In practical terms, this might mean that men take the time to compliment their partners on their achievements and accomplishments, and women take the time to express their attraction and admiration for their partners. It might also mean that we are more mindful of the ways in which we express our own desires and needs, and make an effort to communicate in ways that are likely to be well-received by others.

Ultimately, the saying, ‘women like to be desired, men like to be admired,’ whilst a broad generalisation, nevertheless, serves as a reminder that men and women are different, and that these differences can be a source of strength and vitality in relationships. By recognising and embracing these differences, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with the people we care about, and create a more loving, supportive world for all.